I’ve got a new idea formulating. The other day I was listening to a program on a radio station about personal narratives. I heard the guest and the host talking about how we all create our own personal narratives without really thinking about what we are doing.
It made me think about one of my experiences in therapy. ( yes, I’ve gone that route). My therapist flat out said to me during one of the sessions “You lie to yourself a lot.” I remember being surprised by what she said at the time. There was an instant need to respond and tell her I wasn’t lying to myself. But now, as time has passed, I see what she was saying. Further, I think a lot of us lie to ourselves.
It’s almost like we can’t help it. And for all intents and purposes, we can’t. We are expected to process so much every single day. A funny look, an angry word, a crack in the sidewalk where you twist your heel- these can all be part of what feels to us like a “bad day”. When in fact they are simply a group of random events that we make our own.
We do all of this processing without worrying about our “operating systems”. I’m sure that some folks have their faith to set them on a path to meaning and that seems wholesome. Others have a strong self drive that allows them to slough off the things that would frustrate or even devastate others and that is a good thing, but what about the rest of us? Are you someone who internalizes the events and experiences you are surrounded by? I bet you are.
How are those events, or those experiences shaping you?
How do we accept the premise that life happens and we are merely spectators born with varying degrees of sensitivity. We can choose the things we focus on? As a matter of fact, we must choose. And who we are or who we become is intricately tied into how we view ourselves and “our lives”. Our choices, and our views will shape us.
Draw a picture of you. Draw the things that are important to you. Which drawing did you focus on? Which drawing was more detailed? Why?
Draw a peaceful place. Draw an upsetting place. Which do you like better? Do you have places like that in your life? Can you balance your time so you aren’t spending all of your life in reckless activity or in almost total sensory deprivation?
What do you like to physically feel? What colors do you like? What kind of faces do you like seeing? Are you into angles? Or flowing shapes? Do you like order or are you more interested in organic designs?
Do you know who you are? Do you know what you like? Do you know how to comfort yourself?
Your art doesn’t have to be line drawings, it can be sculpting wet facial tissues, or moving rocks in a garden, or taking some time to really listen to the sounds in your environment. It can be creating scents, or baking or mowing the lawn. Just do something with the expectation that it will please you!
Back to me,I think I’m finally seeing how important it is for me to spend some more quality time with- you guessed it, with me!