A year ago, someone passed away. It was difficult and at the time I don’t think anyone wanted to think about the future. But here we are, a year on and life has a gentle way of easing pain. It isn’t quite forgetting, it’s just that we learn to shunt aside the sadness. We learn what it is and we recognize that our loss has created a well worn path in our brains where if we follow it we’ll feel intense sorrow. We live with that new awareness and we try to move on.
A year ago my shock and grief were pretty intense and I wasn’t someone who was close to the family of the person who passed. But I wanted to extend my support, as if that is even possible in such a circumstance. I was glad that there was an online way to express my condolences. I took advantage of it.
This morning in my email I found a note from Legacy.com. Thanks to their relationship with our local news, they put up the site where I offered my condolences online. They wanted to tell me that they were sending me a courtesy reminder that they were about to shut down the page. They offered me the chance to “support it” or to buy a “bound booklet with all the condolences”.
While that is probably a decent service, the ice cold feeling I felt when I looked at my email and saw the name of the person that is gone was horrible. And again, I’m not family. What kind of pain, I wonder, does it cause the people who were and even still are closer to the “saint”. ( What other word is there? Deceased is clinical and harsh, Their printed name already put me into mental spasms today. I choose to use the word that our ancestors used in remembering those who passed on- saint.)
I know Legacy.com is a business. The internet is now filled with businesses that only want to make a little bit of money from you now, or even no money- but we have to remember they are using a business model and they have to “make a buck”.
It’s hard that it has had to happen with my saint.