I’m not an educated person. I don’t always think clearly. When I speak, I may not convey exactly what I’m trying to get across.
I’m good at listening.
I have opinions. I don’t think they are always right, but I do have a sort of respect for them because I feel I know them. I’ve wrestled mightily with quite a number of my own opinions. It’ the kind of person I am.
I’m good at listening and I often weigh my opinions because I feel a real sense of shame when I pontificate on things I am clueless about.
I’m going to stand up and fight when I feel someone is being dealt an unfair blow. I believe that is noble. If you know in your heart that something is right I feel you absolutely have to trust your instincts. I try to do just that.
I don’t think I’m special. I think I’m unique. I am an individual. That belief of mine comes from my relationship to God.
I’s strange for me to say that since I don’t know enough about God. I have an awful lot of questions I’d like answered. Sometimes I’m prayerful and at other times I’m busy thinking scandalous thoughts like there is no such entity as a God.
I think that is part of our modern human condition. WE think we are all that exists…at least that is how we feel when things are going our way, or even when things are going all out against us…but even when we are denying the possibility of God because we have what we consider to be evidence that God doesn’t care about us…we think boy it would be nice to have someone protecting us because sometimes we are scared and weak and a little lonely.
I don’t think about God at all sometimes.
I make a lot of mistakes. I’m foolish…a lot. I feel lonely way too often. I’m an outsider.
When it’s quiet, at those times when I recognize that I’m standing alone with no clue as to how to behave, or no idea about which path to take I have the feeling that God is present.
I’m sure that doesn’t make any sense. I don’t even know why I wanted to write about this. But I definitely have the feeling that my God is asking me “Are you finally ready?”
My honest answer is I have no clue. I’d like to have peace. I’d like to feel composed. I’d like to know I’m on a track, if not the right track.
Surely it wouldn’t be too hard for a God to let me know whether God even exists! Seriously, am I talking to myself here???
In response I feel God saying..” I asked you first!”