50 Shades of Eeek!

Have you heard about a book called ’50 Shades of Grey’?  I keep trying not to pay any attention to it but I couldn’t help myself, today I had to listen to a bit of it online.

I listened to Gilbert Gottfried reading it and I’m not linking to it, but if you want to find it I hope you’ll find it as amusing as I did.

After listening to that I actually tried to find some online sites that showed what the BDSM stuff was about.  I’d been interested before, not because I’m big on that kind of lifestyle, but it’s hard not to recognize that some people are into more than well, ‘vanilla sex’.

I was to say the least shocked at the images.  I wasn’t shocked because I’d never seen stuff like that before, I was shocked  that it’s so damn prevalent online!  There are millions  of sites advertising women being abused.

I’m kind of confused by this stuff.  I don’t understand the intrigue in pain.  I understand that some people think that women are into this because it is a way to experience sex without taking responsibility for it.  I can’t accept that as the only reason that pseudo abuse intrigues.

I’m thinking it has more to do with the way men are turned on- they are visual, or that is the general thinking.  So they can see sexually explicit things and feel excited, but I think with women that doesn’t hold true, not that we aren’t turned on by looking at images, I’m thinking it just isn’t enough.  I read on a science forum that pain signalling might be reduced during sexual highs.  I think that might have something to do with why this turns women on.  I think it really is a throwback to women’s “cavewoman mentality”.

Women don’t want pain!  But during sex, maybe there is pain sometimes and maybe it’s been evolutionarily helpful  for women to expect, or equate sex with some pains.

The reason men are into it is pretty disturbing- I mean if we look  at their reasons for wanting to control and impregnate  women, well, it’s like a “duh” moment.   But to see the pain and disturbing treatment that men are being led to believe women want to experience is a little scary.

No, a lot scary!

I’m  no professional sexologist, heh, is there even such a thing as that?  I’m writing about  it because I think there is a problem with men thinking that women really want pain as a side when it comes to sex.

Actually, there is another problem!  A lot of real women want  sex with meaning!  Women  want the whole experience- you know, two hearts united.  Frankly, even in long term committed relationships I wonder how many times the sex act reaches that level of meaning?  Is it any wonder we humans have begun just looking at sex as an act?

I’m thinking that sometimes it can be an act.  It’s probably easier to think of it as simply an act.  But it would be sad to always think of all sex as simply an act.  I would imagine that humans need to be able to experience sex in a sacred way too, and I’m afraid books like 50 Shades of Grey aren’t going to help folks see sex as sacred and beautiful.

I don’t know, what do you think?


( um, in  a normal,healthy, sacred way)




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