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Menstrual Psychosis!

I was just reading an article over at the Daily Mail about women suffering from something some professionals are calling “menstrual psychosis”.

Hmmm.  Apparently hormones help control behavior and thinking and it appears that mood can be strongly related to hormonal surges.  Women have huge swings in their hormones prior to their monthly cycle, and therefore it must be a sort of psychosis that they go through each month- whereas in the past it was just considered a type of depression.

I’m not willing to accept that I’m a psychotic individual for almost all of my adult life.  That sounds absolutely ridiculous!

Instead, I’m willing to say that my mood swings are probably related to my hormonal swings, but they are ME!  I AM THEM.

I can tell you with calm certainty that my significant other had a problem with what he considered my mood swings for quite a few years.  He actually wanted me to consider taking medication to thwart my intense feelings of sadness or distress.

I told him to go jump in a lake.  I did that because I had the temerity to think that if I feel upset when I’m approaching my menstrual cycle then that is a great clue that SOMETHING IS BOTHERING ME!

We actually sought counseling.  He was thrilled when the counselor suggested I take something to see if it would help.  I remember the moment clearly.  I leaned forward toward the male counselor and I said, ” If I have to take something to make me a different person in order to “save my marriage”…then I prefer to save myself!”  I told him I appreciated his consideration but I wasn’t in the mood to turn myself into a guinea pig.  He then ominously  told me my marriage was in crisis.  I nodded and then I told him that when I took my vows I promised ” for richer or poorer, in good health and bad, till death us do part.”  If my spouse wasn’t willing to accept me as a whole package- hormonal and all…then that wasn’t my issue. My choice was to continue being me, whatever the hell that meant!

My therapist then turned away from me and started writing on a card to schedule the next session.  I took the card then when I got home I told my spouse what I said to the counselor and my spouse decided he was going to cancel further visits because it was pointless. Our marriage was not worth saving!

I think that was four years ago.  We are still married, and most of the time I’d bet he’d agree that we are “very happily married”.  The only difference is I’ve insisted on my right to get angsty sometimes.  I told him he was just going to have to accept that I’m a natural born worrier.  I don’t know if it was nature, or nurture, but I’ve got lots of worry built into my soul.  I told him I have the right to worry about things 80  percent of the time because that feels safe to me, and I promised that the other 20 percent of the time I’d be a blast!

Now he actually laughs and calls me ” Miss 80 percent” when he feels I’m being excessively anxious.

I can’t wait to tell him that it’s been psychosis that he’s been dealing with!  I wasn’t just depressed, I was psychotic! Heh!  Of course if I was that means me and all the other women in the world are full on psycho! 🙂

In all honesty, I don’t accept the psychotic business any more than I accept that I was depressed and needed meds to soothe my tortured soul.  What I needed was the ability to express my feelings without having people tell me I was wrong about thinking the way I thought.  It seems to me that right or wrong, my distressing thoughts were being thought by ME and let’s make no bones about it, I like me a lot!

I’m now humming ” I’m a me liker” to the tune of ” I’m a girl watcher”.

 

 

 

 

 

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What a Lot of Rain!

Last night I thought my house was going to blow away…the only thing that prevented it from being swept away with the howling wind was that it was waterlogged from days and days of rain.

The rain was so bad that a little old fox that lives somewhere behind my home decided to move her kits out of her hole…I could tell because she was busy harassing any animals that even came near her.  Her yowls were fierce!

I was going to go out and crank down a patio umbrella but I thought twice and decided not to go out because I was a little worried about meeting Mrs. Fox. I figured I didn’t care if my umbrella blew away.

The good news is it is finally sunny!  Yay Pottstown!

The odd thing for me was when I was driving around this morning about 9 am.   The neighborhood felt like a soaked sponge.  It even sounded soggy.  I don’t quite know how to explain what I’m saying.  I  just now have a feeling for what a community feels like after a drenching rain.

I’d say it felt “squelchy”.

love,

mo

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Social Work!

You know how folks say that people in social work get horrible pay?

Well, I’m okay with them saying that, because, in my opinion  it’s absolutely true.  I’ve been lucky enough to know some very wonderful, compassionate people who are in social services, and let me tell you, they do whatever it takes and then some  in their line of work.  There isn’t anything that they run into that they can safely say ” well, that isn’t my job, so I don’t have to care about it!”  They have to care about almost anything any of us have to care about, and they have to do it for all the  people that they get assigned at work.  It’s a tough business!

The hardest part about being in social services is the answers seem simple at first glance.  You just tell people how to do things in prescribed ways and everything is hunky dory!  Only, somehow, lives are a lot messier than that, and it isn’t always all that easy to follow simplistic life strategies.

Today I was listening to WHYY and they were talking about how Pennsylvania is interested in changing how they pay for social services.  Generally social funding gets paid in what are called block grants.  Imagine all the money the state takes in…now carve out a bit for social services, now let social service institutions beg, barter and well, not steal, for their piece of the pie.  Literally, you can imagine that there is this food fight about which group gets the adequate amount for their needs.  What Corbett wants to do is to make that money something that local municipalities control.  In that case social service organizations would have to lobby their local representatives.  Well, that takes the state out of the equation, but it’s just kicking the can down the road really, because the state is the source  of the funding in the first place through tax dollars.  The only difference to agencies is where they have to go peddle their wares- is it in Harrisburg?  or at the local level?

The problem is much deeper than an argument about where the money should come from.  The problem stems from having so much need and not enough money to keep the programs going that are necessary.

But think about it?  Who really wants to worry about poor people?  Who wants to care about medically fragile people?  Who wants to care about folks who are suffering from mental or physical disabilities?  Who wants to care about kids who are getting a raw deal in housing, or education or health care?

Oh yeah, social workers do! 🙂

love,

mo

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Two More Days of School!

I can’t wait till school is out for my kids.  This year my oldest graduated college! Whooopee! I’m so proud of her, I didn’t brag about her on here, but she is one fine young woman and I genuinely feel lucky to be her Mom.  She graduated with honors and she got to wear quite a few cords while marching down the aisle to pick up her diploma.  It was a pretty marvelous event.  Bill Cosby spoke at her graduation and he was very funny.  One of my other daughters texted a friend and said she was listening to him talk and her friend asked if it was ” the real  Bill Cosby?”  We thought that was pretty funny.

My second daughter, who is also magnificent is finished with her first year at college.  She has always been a really responsible young lady ( don’t ask me where she gets it  from?!)  And because of her responsible and warm nature, her college asked her to take an RA position, or residential assistant position in freshman year!   She got home and started applying for summer jobs right away and now she’s officially working over at the mall, so if anyone sees her, don’t bother her, she’s busy!

My third little lady, is coincidentally just as marvelous as her sisters in her own way of course, is the one I’m talking about when I’m telling you all about there being only 2 more days of school.  Today she said she watched several movies, played a game station game and played cards in class.  It is insane that they insist on keeping kids in school when there is no education going on!  But what do I care?!  She already took her SAT’s early by a couple of years and she’s got a score that can get her into Brown University!  I like to call the youngest my “Doctor,professor,wizard”.

Now in case my kids read this, which they rarely do, I want to make it straight that I don’t think one is smarter than the others!  I think they are all beautiful geniuses.

Aaack!  It’s so hard to  parent  brilliant young women!  Poor me! 🙂

love,

mo

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Blair Sucks!

Have any of you ever purchased through online catalogs?  I generally don’t, but I do like getting them because like most of  you, I too buy online and through catalogs for birthdays and holidays.   So today I was paging through an older catalog from the Blair company.  It was filled with interior home products and I found a cute quilt that I wanted.  I waited till my daughter got home from work to check with her, since it was for her bed, and she agreed it was cute.

I got on the website and filled my basket and when I got to the online checkout, it was charging me the regular price of the item instead of the 40 percent off that was advertised in red on the website, so I called their 1-866 number and spoke with a a clerk who said the price wasn’t showing anything other than regular price,  I asked her how that was possible and she suggested she put me through to customer service. She said, ” you never know, you might as well ask”.  I thought she was very considerate and I was satisfied to wait through the ” all  our representatives are currently busy…” I held and soon a gravelly voiced woman named Brenda got on and I told her what had happened.

Her first response was ” can I have the item number?”  So I gave it to her and waited for the explanation.  But what she said was  that isnt’ the price showing on the website.  I said I checked both the sham price which was showing at 16.99 as opposed to 24.99 and the King sized price which was about 20 dollars less than the 69.99 shown.

I said, look when I go to the home bedding at prices up to 40% off it was there and I went through the steps that I originally had in order to show them where the discount was showing up and guess what?  Suddenly there was nothing showing under the regular prices, but you can see that most of the other items on that page show red numbers beneath the original prices that are the discounted prices.  I said, it now doesn’t say anything about the discounts!  It has said 16.99 on the 24.99 sham, and it showed the lower price for the king! Brenda told me she was able to see all the prices that the item had ever been and it was never at the price I was suggesting I just saw.  I asked her ” why would I lie? I just brought you through the process and the product is in a selection of other home bedding items at up to a 40% discount, and you are saying there is no discount on that item at all?”  She said in her gravelly voice in a very monotone way ” I’m not suggesting you are lying”.  I said, “You know what?  if that is the way Blair does business I can shop elsewhere.”

The worst part, is I was already expecting the kind of nonsense I ran into…but since my daughter was sitting right next to me suggesting I contact customer service in the first place, since the product wasn’t showing up online with the discount removed…I feel bad that she had to hear them telling us we were misinformed.  We were literally shoulder to shoulder and she heard the whole conversation.

When I got off, she was as she said, seething!  She said ” They aren’t allowed to talk to you like you are some crazy woman trying to lie your way into a discount!”

I said, what can you do about it?  I told her I’d just use my dollars to vote and avoid using Blair in the future.  She said she was going to their website.  I think she did too.

Unfortunately, it probably won’t matter a whole lot.  And honestly, I don’t really care.  It’s just another day in paradise! 🙂  Generally I don’t get myself all worked up over shopping problems because I’m a firm believer in using my dollars as my voice, but in today’s fast paced world, my poor dollars don’t make a lot of difference.  I mean seriously, I was trying to get a discounted item- it isn’t like Blair is losing a big customer…but my daughter has a point in saying that we have the ability these days to do more than just walk away from businesses.  We can now voice our opinion and allow others to see what kind of treatment businesses offer.

I have to say I feel a little better now.  I’m not going on facebook, or any other social media sites to bad mouth this company…I have better things to do and I’m sure everyone involved will sleep well tonight-

It’s how my daughter is going to sleep this coming fall that I’m still worrying about 🙂

I wonder if Boscov’s has any black and white quilts?  It is my experience that they still treat folks like valued customers!  I should “Boscov” more 🙂

love,

mo