Nasal Maggots? Nonsense!

Gross topic,huh?  But for you, I will search the web for information on disgusting things like nasal maggots because some crazy people are talking about it and now it is  in the news, and most  of my gentle readers don’t have time to search the web for stupid things like nasal maggot information.  That is why you come to me!

Okay, here we go, this is in the news because a school in Portsmouth released a newsletter to families in their district warning them about the dangers that might come from their children snorting or inhaling crushed smarties.  Now I’d like to know what sane kid is going to snort smarties?  But let’s leave  that aside, let’s assume that this is a real problem, and the school district tried to be responsible in telling parents about the dangers…My issue is that they went nutso in trying to make this oddball behavior seem dangerous!  The first danger they commented on was when they said that snorting these candies could slice up your nose.  Huh?  Noses aren’t likely to be slashed apart by crushed sugar!  At least not unless there is a lot more wrong with a person.

Next, they  said kids could scar their nasal cavities.  As I was reading their list of concerns I was thinking, boy that is so weird, it strikes me as almost insane, but maybe kids up there have really sensitive noses?  I would think that their kids fingers contribute more  to nasal scarring than inhaling finely powdered sugar candy, but let’s move on.  The school said children could have an allergic reaction to their sugar inhalation….Ugh, Get things straight folks!  People might not handle sugar very well in their systems, maybe it makes them fat, increases stress, kills some of their cells, but most people aren’t allergic to sugar!  Generally, when people say that they are allergic to sugar what they really mean is that  they are sensitive to sugar.  It might make them feel lousy, but it isn’t going to stop them from breathing or possibly kill them.

Now we can look at the school’s  last concern.. . trust me, it’s disgusting!  They said smarties snorting could cause nose maggots.  Apparently they found some doctor who said that the sugar from the smarties when inhaled could create a lovely place for maggots to hang out.  Now I fully understand how disgusting it is for anyone to think about nasal maggots.  I can assure you that maggots of any type disturb me, but despite my disgust at their wriggling writhing natures,  they don’t climb into noses that often, at least not here in North America.  In warmer climates there have been some patients that have suffered from flies infesting them with their baby flies…but it is happening in tropical climes and these cases get written up but probably  not for the difficulty  doctors have in treating them, but probably because it’s  like a freak show for doctors to share with one another.  So patients have had maggots inside their cavities and I mean all of them including eyes, and ears and noses..ahem.  But they don’t come from candy!  They are from flies.

Oh,  in case you are infected , which is patently ridiculous unless you are in a place with flies that lay their larvae in humans, you have to have your medical professionals swab your nose out with turpentine and then manually remove the little buggers.  They then rewash  your schnoz and have you take an antibiotic.  Your nose will heal up in weeks.

Are we all settled?  I feel a little better, although I have to tell you that if I were to see someone I cared about inhaling smarties I’d have a serious talk with them about their odd behavior.  I will not warn them about getting nasal maggots.  Not unless they were inhaling smarties near tumbu flies. 🙂

I’d like to hear what the Smarties folks have to say about this “dust-up”.




2 thoughts on “Nasal Maggots? Nonsense!”

  1. That is what I have been searching for: how maggots get in the nasal cavity. I was thinking that there had to have been an infestation at the Smarties plant, the fly laid the larvae in the sugar, then somehow the larvae was able to survive all of that without growing, only to have your kid ingest it through his/her nose, and then the maggots would grow…?…

    What a load of BS. It seems as though the doc through that in there just to scare the boogers out of the kids so they would stop doing it.

    Even dumber: one article says parents blamed Youtube.

    1. Hi Thor,

      Thanks for commenting. I can’t know what they were thinking when the school sent that alert out. I bet there aren’t a lot of science teachers on the board.

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